TAZ Arcs as John Mulaney Quotes

maderefugesafe:

Here There Be Gerblins: This might as well happen. Adult life is already so God damn weird.

Murder on the Rockport Limited: “I’ll tell you what we’ll do! We’ll draw chalk around where the body is. That way we’ll know where it was…”

Petals to the Metal: “I hear you honking and I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing. I don’t like that I’m in that lane either, and I sure would like to get out of it!”

The Crystal Kingdom: “Is it an “E” or is it a “3”? That’s up to ye. The passwords of past you’ve correctly guessed, but now it’s time for the robot test!”

The Eleventh Hour: “All right, well, what do they do with the time machine?” “Well, now I’m embarrassed to say.“

The Suffering Game: And I go: “Why are you doing this to me?” and they go: “Because we’re Delta Airlines and life is a fucking nightmare!”

The Stolen Century: “All right, there’s a Norwegian Cruise Line leaving for Martinique. Here’s my plan: you and me get very dressed up, including hats, and then we wave handkerchiefs at it until it disappears over the horizon.”

Story and Song: You’re a 22-year-old temp, and you’re so hungover, and you just wanna die every day. And then that happens in front of you, and I don’t know, gives you hope?

fullofowls:

bumbleshark:

tcookies:

tasteslikecoconutandmetal:

commandtower-solring-go:

whitepeopletwitter:

Can I please get a new nurse?

how is this a universal experience?

male high school bullies: become cops

female high school bullies: become nurses

As a nursing student, I can attest to the amount of bullying and horrible behavior I’ve seen from fellow nursing students. One of the students in my school’s nursing program got kicked out because she was bullying her own patient…

My mom is also a nurse and she has both witnessed AND personally experienced bullying from her fellow nurses. My dad is a nurse as well and has had his own coworkers try to sabatoge him.

This is called “lateral/horizontal violence” and it’s sadly prevalent in the Nursing profession.

it goes as deep as the billing offices for hospitals too. i cant tell yall how much highschool drama my mom has had to deal with in 20 years of billing.

deadass I overheard a nursing student say that she loves “crazy” people because when they start yelling at her she can start yelling and swearing back at them with no consequences

oh okay I’m glad you decided to become a nurse so you can abuse the mentally ill and the elderly?? 

no-url-ideas-tho:

ofvisitorsthefairest:

God I wish I was up to date on everyone’s OCs. I’ll see names thrown around once in a post and be like “yeah! I love them! Whoever they are!”

if you ever don’t know anything about my characters/story but WANT to just go ahead and ask!! I don’t care if I’ve already answered it or it seems like a stupid question (I promise you it isn’t)

this goes for anyone btw